Major Depressive Disorder symptoms are many and varied and can look different for each person. Often times it sneaks up on you, and you become overwhelmed before you realize what’s happening.
Depression snuck up on me 24 years ago after the birth of my daughter. It took me a full ten months post-partum to admit that there was something wrong and I really needed help. I vividly remember that moment: My husband and I had just returned from grocery shopping with our infant. She needed to be fed and the groceries needed to be put away. I sat on a chair in the dining room and knew I couldn’t do either one. Saying that aloud doesn’t seem to make any sense - OF COURSE you can do one of those things! But I just couldn’t. There was a physical, mental and emotional pain that kept me in a state of paralysis, and I couldn’t bring myself to get up.
Back then, in early 2000, there weren’t as many resources about depression as there are now. There were few blogs and online communities. You couldn’t just hop on the internet, search your symptoms and find information. Thankfully my OBGYN helped when I reached out, and one part of my healing included an antidepressant.
Within a few weeks, the worst of the symptoms began to lift and I was left with the realization that I had ignored huge warnings signs for months:
My world got progressively smaller as I stopped doing things I previously enjoyed, I couldn’t concentrate, couldn’t read, couldn’t really feel anything, my mind was filled with repetitive sad or painful memories, I had a hard time feeding my baby, and in hindsight, actually had a lot of lost memory. Within a month of getting help, as I read to my child, I heard myself laugh for the first time in months.
Those were my symptoms, but everyone is different.
Here are some examples of depressive behaviors, feelings, thoughts and physical symptoms.
Behavior:
Not going out anymore
Not getting things done at work or school
Withdrawing from close family and friends
Using alcohol or drugs to “cope”
Not doing the usual activities you enjoy
Inability to concentrate (like reading)
Feelings:
Overwhelmed or indecisive in large or small tasks
Guilty
Irritable or frustrated
Low self-confidence
Miserable, sad, disappointed
Persistent sad or painful memories
Thoughts:
'I’m a failure'
'It’s my fault'
'Nothing good ever happens to me'
'I’m worthless'
Suicidal or suicidal ideation thoughts:
'Life’s not worth living'
'People would be better off without me'
General negative views of the self, the world, and the future, as well as recurrent and uncontrollable negative thoughts that often revolve around the self
Physical symptoms:
Feeling tired all the time
Feeling sick or run down
Headaches and muscle pains
Sleep problems (too much or too little)
Loss or change of appetite or significant weight loss/gain
Listlessness
If you think you may suffer from MDD, reaching out to a general practitioner could be a good place to start. They should be able to help with referrals to a psychiatrist if needed, prescribe medication if needed, and refer you to a therapist. If you have questions about depression or would like to set up an appointment to talk, please contact me here.
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